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 Home > Reviews > Terrorizing Telemarketers 4

TERRORIZING TELEMARKETERS 4

Released through Mulejuice LLC. 

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I'm sitting here & wondering to myself how Florentine does it. How does he come up with such ball busting ideas? How does he execute them so perfectly? How does he keep a straight face & not lose it when some bottom feeding telemarketer blows a gasket?

The latest installment in the Terrorizing Telemarketers series lives up to all of the prior releases. The gags they play are completely original and have never been rehashed throughout the 4 albums. Aside from Special Ed, Florentine doesn't rely on a host of characters like The Jerky Boys or Touchtone Terrorists do. All you hear is an angry ball buster from New Jersey- which is what Florentine truly is.

Don Jamieson rejoins Florentine for Volume 4, and his role is much more prominent this time around. Jamieson is another NJ ball buster who also co-starred with Jim in "Meet The Creeps." If you don't know who Don is, just think about the kid you hated growing up. Don was probably the type of punk who shot squirrels with BB guns, blew up mailboxes with M-80's, and harassed elderly people on his dirt bike. Fast forward 10-15 years and you have a a solid stand up comedian, who is hilarious both on & off stage.

Jim & Don work perfectly together. Their quick wit and dead on timing enhances each & every fucked up scenario they present to their victims. Nothing they do together seems too rehearsed or forced, and when they have curveballs thrown at them, they handle it like Barry Bonds.

Both men manage to piss off several telemarketers in volume 4. One of the highlights is in the track titled "Shotgun." The telemarketer gets so annoyed, at one point he's hurling obscenities towards both men. "I'm gonna come over there with a sawed off shotgun and blow your head off." The confrontation gets uglier as the telemarketer questions the sexuality of both men. "Why don't you go fuck your mother?" asks the scumbag, and quicker than a hiccup, Florentine responds with "You already did, next time wear a condom...cause the kid came out retarded."

On the track "Motel Room", Florentine makes his victim extremely uncomfortable by hitting on him in a homosexual manner. The caller is selling furniture and made the mistake of asking Jim if he would like to meet up & further discuss what his company is offering. Florentine runs with it and at one point has the guy describing his physical features to him. Florentine tells him to dress casually, and the salesman gets even more uncomfortable. "I get a little worried when someone starts asking me to wear tight jeans to a motel in New Jersey."

Another fave of mine is "New Years Eve," a very well executed ruse orchestrated by Florentine. It's very hard to explain in writing what happens during the track, but Florentine somehow manages to get the female victim to act like his cousin Stacy while she deals with his intrusive roommate. Purchase the CD for this gem alone. It ends with the female saying "God, what did I get myself into?"

The final track, titled Jimmy Lachman, involves both Don & Jim giving a classic 8 minute runaround to a determined female dummy. The boys set up an office scenario and kept transferring the woman between receptionists, assistants, & other employees in the company. All she wants is to get in touch with a gentleman named Jimmy Lachman. Hearing Florentine try to do a convincing female voice is worth buying the CD alone. The cycle goes on about 20 fucking times! Each time the woman is about to give up, Florentine or Jamieson lure her back in by saying "Oh I see Jimmy across the office, hold on." Finally, after about 8 minutes, the dummy gets in touch with "Lachman", and before she can finish her pitch, Florentine rudely tells her "Sorry, I'm not interested" and hangs up. That masterpiece reminded me of my all time favorite call "Broken Record" which was featured on Volume 2 of the series. Brilliant stuff.

The rest of the album is filled with other juvenile, yet CLASSIC scenarios like: Receiving an enema, finding out your wife just died, dealing with a pushy pizza delivery man, & much more.

Bravo to Florentine & Jamieson for upping the ante, and keeping the series strong. Let's hope there are plans for a Volume 5, and especially Meet The Creeps 2. When these 2 scumbags get together, cringe comedy is at it's finest.

-Patrick

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CRINGEHUMOR.NET RATING:

5 out of 5

This CD is funnier than finding out your roommate is banging your cousin Stacy

 

 

 

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