Now that I have all of the pseudo-homosexual ass kissing out of my system, let's get to the review, fuckers.

 I always get a kick out of how Robert makes a first impression. Not to be mean, but many casual comedy fans around the area don't know who the fuck he is. Seeing Robert coming up to the stage to a sparse, half-assed reaction, and then leaving it to a raucous standing ovation is a common occurrence for him. Hell, I remember going to see Jim Norton in Westbury last year, and having an apathetic reaction when Robert was announced as the next performer. I thought to my fat self "Can we just get Norton on stage please?." Those thoughts quickly disappeared as Robert tore the fucking awful Westbury Music Fair down, and really whipped us all into a frenzy as Norton followed. Robert does the same night in & night out at the Comedy Cellar. I've seen him come in during the middle of a marathon 5 hour weekday show, and electrify an otherwise petered-out crowd. 

 His act can best be described as energetic & sometimes silly. He's very expressive, and uses voices to convey whatever shit is on his mind. But he never overdoes it. It doesn't comes off as hokey or forced, just genuine feelings we all relate to. You can tell his roots are acting, as he manages to capture his various expressions & reactions PERFECTLY. I guess you could compare his style to his long time friend Dane Cook. Robert has more of an edge to him though, and talks about shit Dane wouldn't touch. I hate to compare the 2 - let it be known that there is a stark contrast in their material that vastly separates them. There is also a very sick & twisted side to Robert...sometimes it surfaces but he keeps it hidden on stage. Off stage, you can often see him trading insults & barbs with his other comedian cohorts. He's amazingly quick-witted, and will be the first to admit if you zinged him good. That's the best fucking part, he loves to dish it out and he can take it as well. That is something you won't see with many comedians. Especially west coast performers who would rather have their ego stroked, while kissing each other's asses...oh sorry, I'm veering off-course and making a left onto Rant Street. Let's get back on topic...

 The album starts off with his classic "I'm from Massachusetts" routine in which Robert explains how faggy a name that is for a state. Robert then talks about living in New York, how it smells like shit, how you get fucked over by tolls, and how you have to be a dick in order to live around so many people. This segues perfectly into his next rant about how much living in California sucked for him, and how everyone thought he was Spanish. "I'm friggin' Irish, my name is Robert Patrick Kelly...I look like a little Mexican dishwasher, I don't know what the hell happened...maybe my mother had sex with the paper boy Raul."

 Robert keeps with the Spanish theme and goes on to explain how great Spanish girls are to have sex with as compared to white women. He also fancies women with accents, except for Chinese girls. His observations on how different they are when speaking English to Chinese is hilarious.

 Every bit of his act connects perfectly, like the well seasoned comedian that he is. After his Chinese accent bit, he goes on about getting a happy ending at the Asian massage parlor. Seeing this bit in person is fucking hysterical, as he puts his awful ass in your face and rubs it while singing "Purple Rain." But it does translate well on the album, along with his other physical gags. 

After talking about how stupid he is, and how great it is to take a nap, he goes on to my personal favorite bit, titled on the CD as Video Games. "I hate playing girls in video games, I FUCKING HATE IT. 'Cause they just hit one button 80,000 times, and they win every friggin' time...You're like 'what are you doing?!? You gotta have technique bitch, what is that?'...You can't just kick me in the shin 85 times! I'm flipping & shit"

 I'm no longer going to quote any of his jokes from the CD, as I don't want to ruin the listening experience for all of you Robert Kelly virgins. The rest of the album contains some topical material concerning the war & Osama Bin Laden. Mr. Kelly then talks about his personal life, mainly dealing with his mother while growing up. Don't worry, he doesn't overdo that either like that fucking awful hack, Dat Phan. Robert's shit is golden. 

 Robert busts out his CLASSIC Piss The Pants Monster routine, while talking about how great it is to scare people. Kelly points out the differences in how men & women react when being scared, complete with a down syndrome impression. This makes me laugh like someone with umm down syndrome every time I see it, and I'm sure you'll do the same.