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2003 is almost gone, and 2004 is upon us all. What do we have to look forward to? Same old stories we had in 2003. Weapons of mass destruction. Finding Osama. The Kobe rape trial. The trial of Scott Peterson. Schwarzenegger in office. That awful American Idol crap. A new season of Tough Crowd. Probably another awful Jennifer Lopez movie. Thank god we caught Saddam, otherwise it would have been pretty boring. But what is my point to all of this? Many of the people I mentioned were given the title of the 10 most interesting people of 2003 by A&E. Well, minus the Tough Crowd. That was just my own personal joy and woohoo. But I want to know, who makes these lists? I don't recall getting a voters info packet about this. I mean come on people... Clay Aiken/Ruben Studdard- I trust nothing and no one presented to me who was liked by the guy who thought The Spice Girls were a good idea. Future Cruise Ship Entertainers of America, I give you the Saturday night entertainment. Hillary Rodham Clinton- She wrote a book. How many other people wrote a book? Good for you, you have more writing ability than Rich Vos. Nicole Kidman- You were awful in The Hours. I could see where your real face ended and that fake nose began. Judy Gold would have done better as the lesbian writer with a big nose. You are awful, please stop trying to prove your worth without Tom Cruise. Pope John Paul II- I really think he made it because they figure he would die soon. They could have picked another woman/minority/gay/jew hater and it would have worked fine. Nick DiPaolo would have been great for his spot. Laci Peterson- How many other mothers/wives/babies were killed this year? Unless she cured cancer, she is no more important than the others. Condoleezza Rice- Okay she was interesting. I'd never heard of her, but she seems like a positive role model. And I'm being serious. Kobe Bryant- Rapist. Own up to it please. Save yourself, and us, the cost of sitting through the trial. It will only make one thing look good-your penis. Jennifer Lopez- You are a bad singer, a bad actress, and you owe me $8.00 and two hours of my life. How are you interesting? The only reason, I think, is your inability to keep one man and be happy with him. You are the Liz Taylor of the new millennium. Now you need to make friends with R. Kelly and you are set. Jessica Lynch- You panicked, fagged out, got captured, then got rescued. You aren't a hero, you are just another girl. Arnold Schwarzenegger- Politics and acting don't mix. Read Sonny Bono's Skiing for beginners and hit the slopes. I don't trust your judgment because of Jingle All the Way. And you lack any form, shape, concept of emotion. I've seen more emotional range on an autistic. I swear, the only way this list could have been worse was if Dat Phan was on it. These people rarely contributed to anything but the Letterman/Leno/Conan/Quinn opening monologues. Maybe I am just overly cynical. But 2003 was full of people who were uninteresting, unappealing, and just all around annoying. So here is hoping that 2004 is at least a little better.
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