The West Coast Report May 23rd, 2004 - Lisa Lampanelli @ The Punchline

This past Tuesday night I got to check out Lisa Lampanelli for the very first time, along with Kris Tinkle and Pete Johansen.

Local favorite Kris Tinkle was hosting the show that night. Kris is such a cool guy and an awesome comic. He did a wonderful job and I was really enjoying his set, as always. The crowd that night was relatively small and it seemed as if they didn't understand his brand of humor, but I must mention that the room was overcome with fossils anyhow. I don't think the old people in front of me took too well to his "hurricane of dicks" bit, but I think it's hysterical every time I hear it.

The next comic up was a fella from Los Angeles named Pete Johansen. Immediately after I heard he was from L.A., I assumed the worst was about to come, but I was only half wrong. He started off really strong and the crowd loved every minute of it. He was really energetic at the start, but he lost the crowd soon after he stepped on stage. Because he started off so strong, I was expecting something really great, but sadly, he was just o.k. after that. He seemed like he was a really funny guy, but it just wasn't his night.

Our headliner for the night, Ms. Lisa Lampanelli was up at last. I've never seen Lampanelli live, so I had no idea what I was getting into. She took everyone by surprise with her boisterous presence. She reminded me of an unfunny female version of Bobby Slayton. Oh my, I'm such a redundant Ronda… I really didn't have to use "unfunny" and "female" in the same sentence. I should have just said "female" and I am sure everyone would already know that I meant not funny…all apologies. Anyhow, Lampanelli was a typical hack comic, focusing on making fun of the audiences ethnicity and ranting on and on about how she loves Black men. She mentioned how her boyfriend and how Black guys in general don't like to perform cunnilingus on their ladies, so in order for him to do so, she "had to grow a chicken wing down there" to entice him. That's awful. At every hack joke she let out, Munir and I looked at each other with disgust. Whenever a comic has to explain their joke, or say "get it?" or "am I right, huh?" at the end of it, as she did, they really do need to be bludgeoned to death. Also, they should never have revolting catch phrases such as, "Once you go spic, you beat up your chick", or my favorite, "Once you go Black, the cops will attack". If you do so and you're female, I hope your womb is barren. At some point while she was up there, I really was laughing…seriously. I was seriously laughing at how dreadful each and every one of her "jokes" were. I did meet her after her show and she was a very nice lady, but aren't they all? Putting that aside, she did give me the opportunity to see awfulness at its best and after seeing that, she reassured my view on female comics and how unfunny they can be.

- Natalie