We have all been deceived. NBC pulled a fast one on us, and we all fell for it hook, line & sinker.

Last Comic Standing isn't about finding who the funniest person in America is. It's nothing but an open audition that NBC created a reality TV show around. The execs over at NBC have such a hard-on over the prospect of discovering the next Seinfeld, Ray Romano & even Tracy Morgan. It's not about stand up comedy, it's all about finding the next sitcom star. They have to fill a huge void on Thursday nights now that "Friends" is almost over and Seinfeld jumped ship several years ago. Seinfeld was offered millions of dollars an episode to continue on for 2 more years but he realized the show had run it's course. He went back to his stand up roots, and NBC has become desperate to find a fill in. Why not test out the popularity of a performer by staging a competition in which the American public decides who they like? If the public likes Dat Phan so much, then they will surely watch his sitcom. Am I right?

NBC is capitalizing on the recent boom in the standup comedy industry. There is no competition like the producers would like you all to think. It's simply who you know. If you have a relationship with Barry Katz, Bob Read, Ross Mark, Peter Engle, and other NBC producers, then odds are you will be pushed into the LCS house. It doesn't matter if your act is mediocre. It doesn't matter if other competitors around you get bigger ovations. If you make it onto national television each week on a program that generates a decent amount of ratings, then everybody ends up with more money in their pockets.

Why not promote some of your own talent on a show you run?

There are reports all over the online standup community about an incident that took place at the LCS 2 finals in Vegas last week. Apparently Brett Butler, one of the celebrity judges, threw a tantrum and walked out after her & the other judges picks to make the house were overridden by the producers. It seems that Read & Mark have the final say in who makes the cut, contrary to what the judges have to say. Yes, folks, it's all predetermined long before the cameras go on. There is extensive screening that takes place with all of the hopefuls - in which the producers talk to them on a more personal level. If they like your character or gimmick (not your material) then you are invited back to perform in front of a live audience later on in the night. This process went on through 8 cities. Read & Mark made their decisions during those more intimate sessions and the rest is all for the final televised product.

Having celebrities like Butler, Colin Quinn, Drew Carey and others judge is also all for the show. In the New York finals Read & Mark sat RIGHT behind Quinn, Rich Vos & Kim Coles while they "judged" the performances. The viewers at home won't know that they've been duped. It will come off under the guise that the noble celebrities chose who we will see every week on NBC.

What type of comedians are Read & Mark looking for? They aren't interested in comedians who may be national headliners, who have tons of television & film credits, or even if they get standing ovations while performing in front of them. They are looking for certain "types", performers with a certain style or gimmick. Don't believe that? Let's analyze last year's contestants:

Cory Kahaney - single mom with a brash NYC attitude

Dave Mordal - ex convict with a miserable disposition in life

Dat Phan - obviously a young, crazy Asian

Ralphie May - morbidly obese with a hint of hip-hop flavor

Geoff Brown - token black guy

Rich Vos - divorcee with street smarts

Rob Cantrell - school teacher with a laid back outlook on life

Tere Joyce - whacked out emotional mess with a crazy look

Sean Kent - Southerner with cancer

Tess Drake - typical "I'm a diva"

I guess you can categorize any single human being, but the 10 from last year were such strong characters that can easily be portrayed in whatever storylines the producers have in mind.

Robert Kelly, a New York City based comedian, was skeptical about the whole idea going in. In a yet-to-be published interview with Cringe Humor the night of his tryout, Robert Kelly expressed his disdain. "It's not about comedy. It's about getting the fat chick, the black chick, the pretty chick, the good-looking guy, the fat dude, the troublemaker...and putting this soap opera together and putting it on TV. It's not about funny."

For season 2, not only does the above apply, but once again it's whom you know in the business.

Gary Gulman & John Heffron are 2 contestants we will all get to know when the new season debuts. What do they have in common? Both men have strong ties to NBC producers.

Gary Gulman is a featured talent from the Barry Katz Entertainment Group. Barry Katz is an executive producer of Last Comic Standing. Gulman is a headliner in his native Boston, but when he comes to NY, he is merely Dane Cook's middle act at Carolines. When Gulman makes his debut as a regular on the show, he instantly becomes a headliner at Carolines. Headlining a weekend at Carolines will earn you several thousand dollars per night. More money in Gulman's pocket equals more money in Katz's bank account.

I would love to give Gulman the benefit of the doubt though. He is a hilarious, good-looking, young Jewish man that would fit perfectly onto the show. But is he really that brilliantly hilarious compared to the other comedians who tried out?

Let's look at John Heffron now. John originally appeared in the LCS pilot known as "Comic House". Peter Engel, who is still on board for season 2, executively produced it. Heffron was also recently cast on "The Tonight Show with Jay Leno". Ross Mark books the comedians you see on that show. Hmmm, something isn't right here. It's also been posted on the CH forum that Heffron has a developmental deal with NBC. I wasn't able to find any information online concerning that, so that could just be hearsay for now.

Both men will go onto to have successful high income careers in either standup, acting or writing, simply because "From NBC's Last Comic Standing" will forever be on their résumé. The more they make, the more their NBC affiliated agents & managers make.

It's all about making NBC money folks! They don't care about discovering new talent and launching his/her stand up career into the stratosphere. All they want is the next Jerry Seinfeld.

I will write about the other contestants in future installments of this exposé, as I learn more about them.

This is the first part in what I hope to be a strong series of articles revealing what a sham LCS is. The next installment will feature several stories from many comedians that went through the process and dealt with bullshit at the hands of NBC.

The above views should not reflect upon any of the comedians/performers mentioned. This is all information I have gathered over the past few days, and I myself have based theories upon them.

Once again, if you are a comedian, and have any stories you'd like to share about your experience, please send them in to CH. We will respect your anonymity if need be.

- Patrick

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